And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
