She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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