Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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