I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
