Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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