you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
