These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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