just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
