Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My life is pants optional.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
