i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
