Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize