There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize