I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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