just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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