are you still at the devil's house?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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