id be glad to
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
