he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
