so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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