Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
