but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize