He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
two words...techno handjob
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
