Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
