Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
