So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
