Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i out mim tonsoeep
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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