i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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