my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Two words: blizzard sex
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
