I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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