Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
