Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
