Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
