I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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