i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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