Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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