Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize