there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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