I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
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I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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