dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We got so high we made milksteak
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
