I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize