I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize