If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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