she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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