i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i think im in europe. pls send help
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