Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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