hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize