New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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