So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
