Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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