I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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