dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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