Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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