U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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