Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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