Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
