I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
