oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he fucked my hip out of place.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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