Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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