Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
