I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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