it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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